30. And insurance update.

Both of us are 30 in this picture...me, years; baby, weeks. Yay! Fela, however, will be 9 in a couple of weeks.

We are also visiting you from a new room. Matt and I did some rearranging and got a nice new desk that has replaced our cute breakfast nook. We didn't really need a nook. I won't get into all of the boring details, but here's a summary: We moved the painting to make way for the bookshelf we bought to replace the bookshelf over the giant desk we are getting rid of and replacing with the new desk that we put where the table was which we moved to the window where the old small bookshelf was which we folded up and put in the baby's room where the old desk was which we got rid of to make space for the crib to make space for the baby because my abdomen, quite frankly, is running out of space.

We met with the new OB and liked him a lot. He had had deliveries the night before but he still took his time with us, answered all our questions very honestly, and even listened to the baby's heartbeat at the end of the consultation. I was worried that an HMO practice would be too quick-paced for me, and that I'd be just a number. I didn't feel that way at all. He was supportive of me choosing a natural childbirth with a doula and we discussed laboring at home - which was my plan, anyway. He won't push for induction until 41 w 5 d. That's good, too.

We also like the smaller hospital at which he primarily delivers - we stopped by there (and literally wandered onto the maternity wing) and happened to catch the head OB nurse, who stopped what she was doing and kindly gave us a tour and talked to us for about 20 minutes. Many of the nurses at this hospital trained as midwives. It's smaller and calmer and the vibe was very friendly and laid-back. They were very excited because they had had 8 deliveries the night before and they do not usually have that many in a single night. I thought it was a great sign that the head nurse was so relaxed and knowledgeable and willing to spend time with us to tell us all about her hospital. She seemed proud of it.

So I'm thinking we're going to make the switch. If we use the HMO we pay zero. Zero. Nothing. (Or so our health insurance company says. I've been on the phone with them about ten times double-checking.) We're already going to be paying a shit ton for the OB care we received this summer before Matt's county insurance kicked in (because I didn't have maternity/pregnancy coverage).

Matt brought up feeling guilty for not wanting to pay more for the doctor we had grown comfortable with. We know what to expect with her, and we are comfortable with the way she does things. It's normal to have to pay hefty fees for your child's birth. Are we cheating ourselves? We don't know. And if we felt the slightest bit uncomfortable with the new OB or his practice or the hospital, we wouldn't consider making the switch.

That said, I'm not ready to tell my existing OB that I'm switching yet. I feel a little grief. I had all my proverbial ducks in a row, as the cliche goes. I knew what kind of prenatal and childbirth care I was going to get and I'd spent six months being comfortable and happy with it. And now everything is up in the air. I feel like I'm making as informed a decision as I can. My gut tells me to make the switch. But, emotionally, I don't want to leave my doctor.

I should follow my gut. But it's hard to trust these days. What I think is instinct is usually just heartburn.