The other day, I dropped Leo off at the gym kids' club before my workout class. He loves it there, he rarely leaves without a fuss when I come to pick him up. When I first started bringing him, he haaaaated it and would cry and cry. Several times the kids' club workers came up to get me after 10 minutes or so but I just kept bringing him until he got used to me leaving for a bit and then coming back, and then he started having fun with all of the toys and the other kids, and now he smiles when I tell him we're going, and he'll even ask to go - Kih-ka!
I digress. Anyway, we walked in the door and, as usual, he immediately dashed for the toys in the little outdoor fenced-in area out back. I signed him in and then, when I looked up, he was hugging one of the people who works there, one of his particular favorites, a college-age kid named Mateo. Mateo was giving him a hug back and laughing and then he looked up and saw me and kind of blushed, and I realized that they must do this all the time - they were happy to see each other. They're buddies!
I got such a lump in my throat. He has friends! People he knows, people he likes, and they are a part of his little life. He's too young to miss someone like Mateo when he's gone or think too much about it, his life is still so "in-the-moment," and in that moment he was happy to see Mateo and it just made me so happy and wistful all at the same time.
I've always had this sense that becoming a mother involves learning to let go in little ways, a thousand times each day, and accept these little people for who they are, while doing your best to provide them a safe environment in which to grow and learn on their own. Every day he is growing very, very slightly away from me. I used to hold my hand on my large belly and think about how miraculous it was that he was a part of me, but that we would always be growing away from each other. That's how it must be, that is life, that is growth, that is raising a child. You do it for them, not for you. Sometimes you have to remind yourself of that fact. I do, anyway.
But for now, I'm going to enjoy being as close to him as I am.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Monday, August 13, 2012
Growing up tooooooo quickly.
My Leo love, you are not a baby anymore.
Sometimes I wish I could have just a few minutes with you as a baby again, all chubby, coo-y, peach-fuzz-headed and snuggly.
Though you are still pretty snuggly. And I would miss your words, and your hilarious sense of humor, and your silky blond beach boy hair, and the way you fake sneeze and crack yourself up laughing about it, and the way you love to test your balance and be daring and try not to fall down...and your sensitivity...and how you wear your heart on your sleeve...
Though you are still pretty snuggly. And I would miss your words, and your hilarious sense of humor, and your silky blond beach boy hair, and the way you fake sneeze and crack yourself up laughing about it, and the way you love to test your balance and be daring and try not to fall down...and your sensitivity...and how you wear your heart on your sleeve...
I miss Baby You, but I love watching you become Big Boy You. Ugggghhh! I love you SO MUCH!
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Unco Wy
We had a visit from my brother and his sweet and lovely lady friend, who are doing a cross country Western US road trip. They stayed for two nights. Leo was in heaven with his Unco Wy. His first words before falling asleep and after waking were "Unco Wy" for three days straight.
Unco Wy's special lady had surfed a few times so she went with Matt. Here they are paddling out but you can't see them...or can you?
Unco and I alternated applying sunscreen for 15 minutes and then chasing Leo.
After applying sunscreen, I said, "Oh forget it" and laid down on my back and let Wy chase Leo for a while. "Yell if you get bored or tired," I said.
...not once!
Wy and I had biked to the beach. Leo had so much fun that he fell asleep on the ride back. Incredibly, he slept for two hours even after I unbuckled his helmet, pulled him out of his bike seat, carried him upstairs, unlocked the door, tripped on the baby gate...Uncoes are exhausting...
...but Leos are more exhausting. This is Leo playing The Game with his uncle. And winning. Leo always wins, I think that's one of the rules.
We were a little blue after they left this afternoon to continue their adventure. Leo woke up from his nap calling for his Wy, but I explained that Uncle Ryan had to go home, so he went bye-bye, and we'll see him in Minnesota in a few weeks. Leo seemed to consider this and accept it. Throughout the rest of the day, he would periodically remind me, "Byebye Unco Wy" and my heart would mellllt.
Electric bike rides are a known cure for the blues in this house, so we embarked on a little afternoon adventure of our own to cheer ourselves up. Mama wore lots of fancy accessories to try to avoid getting sunburned.
<3>
Byebye Unco Wy and Casandra
Unco Wy's special lady had surfed a few times so she went with Matt. Here they are paddling out but you can't see them...or can you?
Unco and I alternated applying sunscreen for 15 minutes and then chasing Leo.
After applying sunscreen, I said, "Oh forget it" and laid down on my back and let Wy chase Leo for a while. "Yell if you get bored or tired," I said.
He never yelled...
...not once!
Wy and I had biked to the beach. Leo had so much fun that he fell asleep on the ride back. Incredibly, he slept for two hours even after I unbuckled his helmet, pulled him out of his bike seat, carried him upstairs, unlocked the door, tripped on the baby gate...Uncoes are exhausting...
...but Leos are more exhausting. This is Leo playing The Game with his uncle. And winning. Leo always wins, I think that's one of the rules.
Electric bike rides are a known cure for the blues in this house, so we embarked on a little afternoon adventure of our own to cheer ourselves up. Mama wore lots of fancy accessories to try to avoid getting sunburned.
<3>
Byebye Unco Wy and Casandra
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Best buddies
Kat and Luca moved back to New York today. Leo and I are really sad to see them go.
I met Kat the first time I went to the prenatal yoga class where I ended up meeting most of my mom friends. She was almost full term and as we were chatting Luca kicked out towards me through her belly - I'll never forget that.
After Luca was born (a couple of months before Leo), Kat and her husband came back to the yoga class to share their incredible home birth story. I was so inspired by her story, it was one of the standout birth stories from that class that inspired me to work towards having my own natural birth, which I was lucky enough to achieve.
After Luca was born (a couple of months before Leo), Kat and her husband came back to the yoga class to share their incredible home birth story. I was so inspired by her story, it was one of the standout birth stories from that class that inspired me to work towards having my own natural birth, which I was lucky enough to achieve.
We ran into each other a few times over the course of the next several months and exchanged numbers; when I got food poisoning when Leo was four or five months old, she brought me soda crackers and sprite and pretty much saved my life. Right after that, they moved to an apartment up the street, we started meeting almost nightly at our neighborhood park, and the rest of the story wrote itself. We've been through a lot together - baby sickness, teething, lack of sleep, husbands working/traveling, lots of wine, lots of mascara reviews, sometimes feeling like we were going insane trying to balance our old selves, our new selves and our new growing families.
When we started spending time together, our boys were not yet crawling. They grew to love each other and became best buddies. They are a couple of months apart in age, and they have learned so many important lessons from one another, not having any siblings or cousins nearby. Recently I was watching them play after spending an entire afternoon, dinner, and evening together and I realized that I had not seen them fight or even get mad at each other. They'd learned to play and get along by being together. What an incredible thing for two boys who live so far from extended family.
It's not often that you meet a friend who becomes like family. I've been lucky to meet more than one on this mama journey, but Kat is the only one who not only doesn't tease me for wearing mascara to the gym, but she could usually be found on the elliptical right next to mine not only wearing mascara but probably involved in some heated discussion about it (with me).
We will miss you, but we can't wait to come and visit you on the East Coast!
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Play on, Playa
Leo has invented a game.
Leo prefers to play this game with Papa but if Papa is not around, Mama will suffice. He tells us he wants to play it by grunting "Eh! Mm! Eh! Mm!" loudly, staccato, insistently, over and over until we play.
To play the game, upon hearing the grunting, the Parent must drop to all fours and crawl around the living room until Leo picks up his volleyball and throws it onto the Parent's back. The Parent must immediately drop onto his/her belly as if s/he has been wounded.
If the Mama is playing, Leo then laughs hysterically and crawls onto her back. Many variations including wrestling or piggyback rides follow, but when Leo says "Eh! Mm!" again, the game starts over.
If the Papa is playing, after dropping onto his belly, Papa immediately pretends to be asleep, and Leo puts on a face of exaggerated mock concern, punctuated with an "Uh oh!" or an "Oh doh" ("oh no"). Sometimes he will pretend to cry or even say "cry." Then he will squat down next to Papa and gently stroke his back. After a moment, Papa suddenly makes a robot noise, goes back up to all fours and starts crawling again. Leo laughs hysterically and prepares to attack again.
The game is super cute. I love how there are rules, and how it differs for different parents. I love that there is an act that goes along with it. I love that he made it up himself; I love his imagination. And I love that he even has a code grunt that means it's time to play. So clever.
----
Some new-ish cute words and phrases that I want to remember:
"Papa day!" - not sure what it means exactly, but maybe "Papa's home" or "Papa's here" or "Papa's home today" or something, although I think I say it now more than Leo does
"Deess!" - cheese, which he asks for every time we walk by the cheese sample station at Whole Foods
The other day, when we got on Skype with my parents, he immediately pointed up to the sky and said "Ah-pane" because Grandma always reminds him that he's coming on an airplane to visit her in a few weeks :)
Love how he says different people's names in different tones - Ah Why (Uncle Ryan), Nana, Granddaddy, Grandma, and my personal favorite, Grandpa - "Gap-paaaa!"
He says "no" fervently and insistently - it's still cute (for now)
Sometimes he sneaks into the bathroom and steals one of my makeup brushes out of the drawer, then runs around the house stroking his face with it. The other day he stole my eyelash curler and held it up to his eye. Ummm, whoopsie.
He knows so many of his body parts, I can't believe it. Eye, nose, ear, mouth, lips, teeth, tongue, head, hair, tummy, belly button, back, butt, leg, foot, toes...
Leo prefers to play this game with Papa but if Papa is not around, Mama will suffice. He tells us he wants to play it by grunting "Eh! Mm! Eh! Mm!" loudly, staccato, insistently, over and over until we play.
To play the game, upon hearing the grunting, the Parent must drop to all fours and crawl around the living room until Leo picks up his volleyball and throws it onto the Parent's back. The Parent must immediately drop onto his/her belly as if s/he has been wounded.
If the Mama is playing, Leo then laughs hysterically and crawls onto her back. Many variations including wrestling or piggyback rides follow, but when Leo says "Eh! Mm!" again, the game starts over.
If the Papa is playing, after dropping onto his belly, Papa immediately pretends to be asleep, and Leo puts on a face of exaggerated mock concern, punctuated with an "Uh oh!" or an "Oh doh" ("oh no"). Sometimes he will pretend to cry or even say "cry." Then he will squat down next to Papa and gently stroke his back. After a moment, Papa suddenly makes a robot noise, goes back up to all fours and starts crawling again. Leo laughs hysterically and prepares to attack again.
The game is super cute. I love how there are rules, and how it differs for different parents. I love that there is an act that goes along with it. I love that he made it up himself; I love his imagination. And I love that he even has a code grunt that means it's time to play. So clever.
----
Some new-ish cute words and phrases that I want to remember:
"Papa day!" - not sure what it means exactly, but maybe "Papa's home" or "Papa's here" or "Papa's home today" or something, although I think I say it now more than Leo does
"Deess!" - cheese, which he asks for every time we walk by the cheese sample station at Whole Foods
The other day, when we got on Skype with my parents, he immediately pointed up to the sky and said "Ah-pane" because Grandma always reminds him that he's coming on an airplane to visit her in a few weeks :)
Love how he says different people's names in different tones - Ah Why (Uncle Ryan), Nana, Granddaddy, Grandma, and my personal favorite, Grandpa - "Gap-paaaa!"
He says "no" fervently and insistently - it's still cute (for now)
Sometimes he sneaks into the bathroom and steals one of my makeup brushes out of the drawer, then runs around the house stroking his face with it. The other day he stole my eyelash curler and held it up to his eye. Ummm, whoopsie.
He knows so many of his body parts, I can't believe it. Eye, nose, ear, mouth, lips, teeth, tongue, head, hair, tummy, belly button, back, butt, leg, foot, toes...
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)