Jack.

Jack Matthew Pavelka
born 1/3/2015
7 lbs 3 oz
20 inches long

I had a baby! We have two sons!

This is Jack's birth story.

On Friday the 2nd, I dropped Leo off at preschool, stopped at the grocery store where the teller informed me that her friend had just had a baby and "tore everything," then came home and immediately laid down on the couch with my iPad on Netflix and didn't move until 2pm. I began having some mild, infrequent contractions around midday, like Braxton-Hicks but a bit more intense, and I wondered if something was going to start. When I picked him up from school, I told Leo's teacher that I'd been contracting all day and might have a baby that weekend. That evening, Leo and I went to my parent's new place in Prescott (their winter rental) and my contractions got a lot stronger, and I got a few other signs that labor was imminent. I called Matt and had him pick up some stuff for dinner. He went home, marinated some fish, and took a nap "just in case." By the time Leo and I got home, my contractions were pretty regular. I grilled some fish. We all ate.

Around midnight I called my mom and dad to come over and sleep in our guest room, to be with Leo in case we needed to leave in a hurry for the hospital. My contractions continued, pretty regularly but not perfectly regular, and fairly mild, throughout the night...Matt and I tried to lay down around midnight, I couldn't sleep, got out of bed and for the next three hours I labored on my own in the living room and let Matt sleep. Just like when I was in labor with Leo, it felt good to be alone, which is weird for me, but labor makes weirdos out of lots of women. The contractions got much more intense, to the point that I couldn't lie down through them anymore...yet I was having doubts, because the contractions would space apart to 15-20 minutes when I was lying down, and every 5 minutes or less when I was up and about - which is a classic sign of false labor. But I was starting to have a lot of intensity during the contractions, as well as back pain.  It felt pretty real. (Spoiler: it was)

During my contractions, I did a lot of the same stuff I did with Leo's labor: yoga breathing, relaxing my jaw and hands, shaking and swinging my hips, blowing horse lips. Anything to stay relaxed and not tense up against them. It gets so hard to stay relaxed! I also pictured myself "going in" to the contractions, sometimes picturing it like I was diving into a wave in the ocean. This image helped. Until it didn't.

Around 330, I got back in bed and woke Matt up for a backrub. I cried a little. He rubbed my back through contractions for about 30 minutes before we decided it was probably time to go to the hospital. (Side note: I had tested positive for group B strep, so I was supposed to receive 2 doses of IV antibiotics, four hours apart, before the birth - we knew this could be a problem, since my labor with Leo had moved so quickly after getting to the hospital). I showered, texted my doula, and put on a little makeup (duh), then we left. We had had a crazy snowstorm a couple days before, so we had to drive a little carefully on the ice in Matt's truck, which is also very bouncy, but the seats were really cold which felt amazing to me for some reason. The hospital drive takes about 20 minutes, and somehow I managed to only have maybe 4 contractions during that time, and Matt and I talked and laughed a little, listened to music. I decided to try to maintain a good attitude.

When we got to the hospital birthing center, the doors were locked and this was the conversation with security over the intercom:

"Can I help you?" Um, I'm in labor.
"Name?" Lindsay Pavelka...
"Date of birth? Doctor's name? Pediatrician's name? Due date?"
Are you serious??? I'm having a baby!

At that moment my doula came down the hall and let us in. The L&D triage nurse examined me and announced I was 6 cm dilated. I said, "Yeah, bitch!" for no reason in particular. It was 530am.

From that point, things moved very quickly! I was not thrilled to be hooked up to an IV, fetal monitor and blood pressure cuff (I had been intermittently monitored and had a hep lock with Leo) but with the GBS issue I was happy to oblige for the baby's health, of course. The phlebotomist was new, in training, and she gutted my hand with the needle as she was putting it in. The IV Penicillin burned my hand and veins but I soon forgot. I mostly wanted to labor on my hands and knees, as I pictured pushing the baby out in the same way I had with Leo. The nurse said, "Actually, it's better if you don't get on hands and knees, because if you do you will want to birth that way." I said, "Yeah, I want to birth that way." She went to talk to the doctor. I got on hands and knees.

At this point, my back labor got crazy. I needed my doula to push on the outsides of my hips and Matt to push on my back. HARD. (They later told me that they could see my sacrum bulging from Jack's head - he was turned around the wrong way!) This went on for a little while. I moaned llllllow (My doula said, "find your bottoms with every contraction" - weird things make sense when you're in labor) and loud. I yelled, "The way out is through." which is kind of cheesy but it's true, about everything, really. My doula loved it and kept repeating it to me. In case I haven't mentioned it, she was awesome. So was Matt, of course.

The doctor came in, she knew Matt and she was nice (she was the OB on call, not my chosen OB). She said she was happy to catch the baby from the hands and knees position, but that it can increase the chances of more tearing - so I decided to try laboring/pushing on my side, instead (during Leo's birth, my awesome OB had suggested this as well, but it didn't work for me then, and that's when she suggested hands and knees). At that point I said, "I have to push now!" they checked me, there was a lip, they pushed it back, I was ready. My water hadn't broken. Dr. Martin said I could push him out in the sac, but it would be less intense if she broke my water. Break it.

I pushed for ten minutes. Five contractions (I think I took a break during the third or fourth). I was going to try pushing three times for each contraction, which a friend's midwife had suggested, but I found that once I started pushing my body completely took over and pushed HARD four or five times through each contraction. It didn't take me long to remember how to push. On the fifth contraction, the stretching was incredibly intense and I was screaming and afraid. It hurt in the front, which was different from Leo, and very scary to me. They cried out, "His head is almost out!" and I yelled, "How close?" because I wanted a break but I would skip the break if he'd be out during the next push. I looked over at Matt and he was crying and smiling. I felt strong and tough. I pushed harder and felt Jack's head come out, pushed again and he was here and born and then he was on my chest, breathing and looking around but not crying, but alive and real and pinking up and looking like no one I'd ever seen before. He cried after a minute (he got an 8 and then a 9 on the Apgar, the 8 because he didn't cry right away) and nursed pretty soon after that. I felt love and relief and so much happiness, also so tired. I didn't feel as crazy with the love hormones this time, but I felt chill and stable and so happy, which was even better to me.

I learned later that one of Jack's arms came out, hand first, next to his head, at the same time. He was also turned around the wrong way, which accounts for the tremendous pressure on my back, as well as the extra pain in the front during the "ring of fire" portion of the morning's labor. I had another minor 2nd-degree tear. Again, I had feared it but had not felt it happen, and healing from it has not been a big deal.

I had only received one dose of the penicillin, but they monitored Jack for 24 hours and determined that we could go home after that.

My doula wrote in her notes, "Mom smiled and laughed throughout the whole labor." And I wouldn't have remembered that, but I know that I did, I joked a lot too. It really helped to keep myself upbeat. I also cried and yelled at a few people, but they usually give you a pass for that when you're pushing out a person. The doctor, nurses and techs were all happy, upbeat and smiling afterward. They kept saying how happy they were, what a great experience it was, to see an all-natural birth, and how they wished it happened more often. They treated me like a queen. I loved it.

I felt very strong when I was pushing. I was scared of tearing but I didn't let the fear stop me or slow me down. The way out is through. I remembered it from Leo and I did it again.

I always wondered if my first natural labor and birth were kind of a fluke, if I just lucked out because the anesthesiologist was busy when I screamed for an epidural and found out I was 8cm. But this time I never asked for the epidural. I knew it was an option, that it could stop the runaway train at any time. But I didn't want to stop it. I wanted to do it.

So that's the story of Jack's arrival. And now we are four.