Au naturel

Disclaimer: This post may or may not be about baby poop. If you find that sort of thing gross, I suggest you mosey along. If you have a child yourself, you will probably find this amusing.


Tonight.

Matt is at work. Around 645, I removed Leo's diaper; as per our usual evening routine, I let him run around the house diaper-free for a few minutes while I prepared his pajamas, bath, etc.

Oops! I noticed a small puddle on the floor. Gross! No worries, pee happens, I quickly wiped it up and cleaned the floor with vinegar while he ran into the hallway and kept playing. I silently praised myself for my green-cleaning choice. "A little pee is no problem, think of how wonderful it is for my son to have this time to just run free. Maybe I'm the best mom ever!"

A few minutes later, I walked into the hallway to grab something and I felt my foot hit it. Another puddle? I looked down and a long-held nightmare stared me in the face. Poop. On the rug. On my foot. POOOOOOP ON MY FOOT.

I looked up and there was my sweet boy, running through the living room, happily oblivious to the shame of human nature. I stood for about five seconds too long with my foot hovering in the air while I decided whether I should chase him or hop into the bathroom to wash my foot. Those five seconds were all he needed to brown-bomb the living room, as well (though, thankfully, floor only). I hobbled into his room, grabbed a wipe, quickly cleaned off my foot and grabbed a dirty sock out of the laundry basket in the hallway and put it on so I could chase him. He is usually fussy at diaper changes but I think he sensed my urgency as I tackled him and wiped him down before he could step in anything more and make the night even more hilarious.

Baby cleaned, I set out with bleach in hand (green cleaning? HAAAAA) and quickly cleaned the living room floor (Housekeeping tip: it IS safe to use bleach spray on hardwood floors! but only if you live in a rental), then oxycleaned the rugs while the baby sobbed for the oxyclean bottle (I just want to cleeeeeeaaaan, mommmmmmmmm). I then scrubbed the rug spots with a rag and then finished by mopping the living room.

I threw in the towel and joined him during baby bath time. So we're all clean and poop-free. The real test will be tonight at 4am when Matt gets home from work. If he does not detect the stench of baby naked time, oxyclean and I will consider our evening a relative success.

RIP, Baby Naked Time.