Filters

Okay, we've been living in Prescott for nearly five months now, and I've yet to post an update. Life is very good, we are very happy, and I am VERY pregnant (now 32ish weeks). I'm also very cranky and moody and Matt therefore needs all of our thoughts and prayers.

I need to write a long, detailed update on our lives here now, but I'm not going to do that tonight, because what I really want to write about is Leo's filter. Or lack thereof. Or the work in progress that it is?

It is hard to teach a nearly-4-year-old to watch what he says to or in front of people about their appearance. We are learning to parent this a little better than the first time it came up earlier this year and took us by surprise - we were just about to get off of an airplane, and the 20-something girl sitting directly in front of Leo had an afro. "Hey Mommy! Look at that guy's funny hair! Papa! Look at that guy's funny funny funny hair!" We froze and stared at each other, and not knowing what to do or say, Matt hilariously responded by CLAMPING HIS HAND OVER LEO'S MOUTH as we tried not to dissolve into helpless, giggling, horrified messes. Of course, this only angered the 3-year-old, who responded by yelling much more loudly. "WHY ARE YOU COVERING MY MOUTH? LOOK AT THAT GUY'S FUNNY FUNNY FUNNY FUNNY HAIR! WHY ARE YOU COVERING MY MOUTH?"

We learned our lesson, and apologized to Leo later and talked about how people's feelings can get hurt sometimes when you say something about them looks "funny" or "weird." (The afro-wearing girl never acknowledged that she heard anything.)

So here are some more recent filter failures that have been talking points on the home front:

[Walking by a large lady who smiled and said hello to us in the grocery store] WOW, Mommy, that lady has a BIG BIG BIG tummy.

[Sitting in a restaurant, a very large man walked by the window - outside, thankfully] HEY MAMA HEY PAPA LOOK AT THAT GUY'S BIG BIG BIG BUTT!

[To my dad] Grandpa, you have SUCH a big head.

[To me] Oh Mama. I wish I had a big, big butt like you. [Passing by me] Excuse me, Big Butt.

(The one directed to me is a hard one for me. I don't really care that he called my butt big. For one thing, my butt IS bigger than usual right now at seven months pregnant. I don't want him to see me have unnecessary or silly issues about my body. So I just ignore or laugh it off, or tell him that someday he will grow big and tall and his butt will be bigger.)

We've been calmly asking him to wait and tell us these kinds of things when he is alone with us, so that people's feelings don't get hurt. We were beginning to wonder if it would ever sink in. Then, the other day, Leo and I were at a restaurant with my parents. I was sitting across the table from him. His eyes suddenly got very big and he looked at me and quietly said:

L: Mommy, do you want to talk about something?

Me: (pause)...Okay. What do you want to talk about?

L: (glancing around me at something behind me)...I just need to talk about something.

Me: Is it something we should talk about later at home?

L: Yes. (looking behind me again) But Mommy...do you see it?

(I very slowly and casually looked behind myself and saw a man with a very, very shiny bald head.)

Me: Yes. Let's talk about it later, okay? Thank you, honey.

He actually did let it go, but as soon as we got home:

L: Mommy, do you want to talk about something now?

Me: Yes. It's fine to talk now! What do you want to talk about?

L: MOMMY DID YOU SEE THAT GUY'S BIG BIG BIG SHINY HEAD WITH NO HAIR ON IT!!!!????

...

Parenthood is hard to put into words sometimes. It's hard to explain how hearing a sentence like that can make you SO INCREDIBLY PROUD you can't believe it. Nothing compares to the sudden realization that something you are doing, as a parent, really IS sinking in.

Now let me try to explain that to all of the people in the restaurant this morning when we were leaving and Leo was running to the exit repeatedly shouting, "I HAVE AN ITCHY BUTT!"