I'm gonna be a happy kitty.

Leo talks and talks and talks. He talks all of the time. If he is awake, he is talking. He talks until he falls asleep and he talks the second he wakes up in the morning. He talks constantly in the car. We stand for much too long with the doors open because we don't want to shut the car doors on him when he's in the middle of a thought. Which is always.

His biggest thing right now is "Mama, remember that day when..." except "remember" sounds like "bemumbo" and if we don't "bemumbo" what he is talking about it can be very upsetting for him. "Mama, bemumbo yesterday (everything in the past is "yesterday") when I was fishing at Auntie Beck's house and Weo caught a fish and Auntie Beck said let's catch one more and Weo said noooo, no, no, I'm all done and it's time to build towers Auntie Beck, Mama, bemumbo thaaaat?"

Some other things I want to bemumbo:

We are planning a ski trip with Matt's parents for Christmas and we told Leo all about it, showed him videos of kids skiing on YouTube. That night before we went to bed he was talking about it nonstop. "I'm gonna climb to the top of a big snowy hill and fall alllll the way down and have so much fun." We told him there would be a hot tub at our rental house and we could have hot chocolate in it. "And can we have ice cream? And cookies? And a gingerbread man? And can we bring some books to the house?" this went on and on until he fell asleep. The next morning, I kid you not, the first thing out of his mouth was "And mama, can we have M&M's at the house tooooo?"

Today we were out and about downtown, just poking around in shops, and spent some time buying stuff for our Halloween costumes. Later, we saw some people dressed up in costumes. A 20-something girl and guy were dressed as zombies and their makeup was pretty scary, including contact lenses that whited out their irises. Leo seemed to be very scared of them. We struck up a conversation with them and Matt and I showed Leo how they were wearing makeup and contact lenses (like we do) and how they were actually really nice people. We were trying to make him see that they were just looking scary for fun, that sometimes it can be exciting and fun to pretend to be scary, and he seemed to be satisfied enough with that that we felt good about leaving it, that it wasn't going to be just some scary unresolved monster sighting in his memory. As we were walking to our car one of us said, "You could be a scary kitty for Halloween!" to which Leo paused and then responded quietly, "I think I'm gonna be a happy kitty."

We do our best to just speak to him simply and explain everything fully when it's appropriate. Matt is so good at this...giving him the benefit of the doubt and not simplifying everything when it's not necessary. Sometimes he comes out with things, with thoughts, that just blow our minds. Tonight, Matt read him The Lorax, which I've always thought seemed like kind of a long-winded book for a two-year-old. We've read it to him a handful of times. At the end of the book, when the Once-ler gives the little boy the last Truffula seed, Leo exclaimed, "Now the fish and the birds and the Lorax and the Barbaloots can all be happy again!" We were astounded that he understood what that Truffula seed meant. Of course, my husband, who misses nothing, added, "Yes, but first the boy will have to take very good care of the seed and work hard to feed it and protect it..." I love that man.

Another favorite quote from today: I'm not a boy. I'm Superboy.

This just happened

"Mama, let's go to the [unintelligible]!"

The shoe?

"No, the [unintelligible]!"

 The ssss...oo???

"NO NO NO NO THE ZOO THE ZOO!!! Z-O-O spells ZOO!"

Halloween

Leo, what do you want to be for Halloween?

"A Kitty! A Kitty, with ears on my head, and furrr, and a taaaaail..."

What should Papa be?

"a....a....A TIGER!!!!"

What should Mama be?

"A six."

Treasures

I've been saving all of Leo's treasures from our beach and woods hikes. We come home and his pockets are full of rocks, leaves, and seashells. I love him. But even more, I love finding treasures in Matt's pockets - the rocks, leaves and seashells that wouldn't fit in Leo's pockets.

Santa Cruz.

A new blog is so overdue; it's hard for me to figure out where the heck to start.

We moved! We left Hermosa Beach on a Monday morning. Leo and I drove about 8-10 hours (I honestly don't remember how long it took) alone together - incidentally, the longest trip I'd ever driven nonstop and with a toddler to boot! - and with a few stops, tears and frightening diapers, we did great and arrived in Santa Cruz that evening around the same time as Matt, who left much later. 

The transition has been - I don't want to say "harder" because it's all been pretty great - but much more "complicated" (maybe?) than I expected. We moved from our 8-900 square foot tiny cramped place into an 1800-square-foot house with three bathrooms and a huge garage and two big decks, as well as a big, sloped backyard with an apple tree and tiny creek in the back - still pretty unexplored, as we discovered a lot of poison oak back there. It has been incredible to have so much space - and the house is very, very beautiful and nice with all-updated appliances - but the transition was just more complicated than I expected. 

A lot of things happened all at once at the beginning. Our washing machine went out just days after moving in. We have no cell service at the house and had to get a landline just to be able to make phone calls and for Matt's work (he will sometimes have to go in early if the ER is very busy). There is a woman in her 60s who rents a room downstairs that was converted into a studio, and that relationship has been a bit closer than what we were prepared for by the landlords, though it is better now since we have had a plumber out to do some work on the water pressure and we are now able to shower simultaneously and run the dishwasher in the evenings. She is kind and keeps to herself and is friendly with us, and is not bothered by noise. She also sometimes leaves us some treats on our doorstep from her friend's organic farm.

Matt's new job is good - he likes the work, the people and the facility. It's more stressful than residency, as he is often the only doctor on duty in the ER (no attending to report to - he's the attending now!)  - and when he works nights, he's the only doctor in the whole hospital. He works much, MUCH less than he did in residency. The shifts are fewer and shorter. It's so much better. We're having a bit of trouble working out a soundproof place for him to sleep during the day after swing or night shifts, but he has a plan for soundproofing a large storage room that we have, so that's our next adventure.

The move has been good for Leo. I felt sad about taking him away from the only friends and home he'd ever known, but I also knew that we didn't want to stay in LA forever, so it was a good time in his life for him to go through such a transition, when he is young enough that we are still right there alongside him to help him process it all. He really loves the new house and all of the play space. At first, it was often hard to get him to even leave the house. He especially loves his "balcony" (the lower level deck, which we've designated "his"). Sometimes when he is tired or grouchy he will tell us that he wants to go home to Hermosa Beach, to "our old house," but this is happening much less often as of late - I don't think he's said it for a week or so now. 

I have such fond memories of Hermosa and the South Bay of LA. I miss my friends so, so deeply, and I'll always have such a heart for it, since we lived there for three years and our lives changed so very much there. 

But...on to the great stuff!

We LOVE it here. We love the pace, the green, the lush, tall redwood trees, and the chillier climate. We love the wildness of the north/central coast - the huge, wild forests and mountains inland and the rocky, cliffy, shell-covered beaches. Our neighborhood, Rio del Mar (technically in Aptos, CA, not Santa Cruz) is, interestingly, the foggiest and chilliest "micro-climate" in Santa Cruz County. Indeed, most mornings look, feel and smell like the mornings I remember waking up to on Lake Fourteen at my Nana's cabin in Northern Minnesota - complete with the smell of my coffee. 

There is so much to do nearby. There is a small and beautiful playground right off of the beach, just a 5-minute bike ride or 10-minute walk from our house. Right up the road is Nisene Marks State Wilderness Reserve an enormous, dark redwood forest full of trails for biking, hiking and running; 20 minutes away on the other side of town is Wilder Ranch State Park, sort of a conglomeration of protected beaches, bike trails, a preserved 19th-century ranch with animals and old barns and all kinds of cool old rusty farm equipment, etc. North of town there is a virgin redwood forest called Henry Cowell - some of the largest and oldest trees in the world. Near that is a railroad with miniature steam engines that you can ride through the forest, up mountains or to the beach. These are just a few of the incredible things nearby that we've found, not even to begin to mention the unbelievably beautiful secret beaches and hikes that are further north up the coast. Oh, and we're 30 minutes north of Monterey - we've joined the famous aquarium, and a trip to Monterey is now one of Leo's favorite family day outings.

Other good stuff - we've made a lot of friends. I pretty much gave out my phone number to every new mom I met when I started going to our toddler gymnastics class, local parks, library storytimes. The best thing that happened is that I met a mom at the library and then later ran into her at the park, and she invited me to join a toddler playschool co-op that she and her friends had started - Leo and I so quickly fell in love with the group and have been having so much fun with them at the biweekly co-ops as well as other little park outings, swimming days, etc. It's been really, really good. We've gotten to the point where our weeks are chock full of fun stuff to do, and we are really enjoying it. I was really prepared to face feelings of loneliness after leaving my amazing group of friends - and I miss them dearly - but being busy and making new friends has been just the best, sweetest icing on the cake of our move here.

I'm trying to upload a bunch of pictures, but (another fun development) this computer has become very slow so I don't know if they're going to come through.

Life is very, very good. I feel like I have space to breathe here, and the air is good and clean. The people are friendly. Before our move, I told several friends and family that I felt like Santa Cruz was reaching out to us - and now I know I was right. At least for now, for this time in our lives, this is the place for us.

Santa Cruz pictures.

Leo's "Balcony"

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the walk to our neighborhood park and beach (Hidden Beach)

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my beloved bro/bestie came for a whole week to help us get settled

(before starting MED SCHOOL!)

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Wilder Ranch

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One of Matt's fellow Watsonville ER docs invited us to watch the Wharf to Wharf race from his yard on Pleasure Point - incredible

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Leo's favorite new game is "take a nap" - it rules and also sorta doesn't

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Our cute kitchen - someone teach me how to not be cluttered?

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Monterey Day - I love this picture because in the background is the hotel Matt and I stayed at on our "babymoon" trip three years ago!

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Monterey Bay Aquarium - sea otter happy face

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The upstairs deck off of our bedroom (far end) and kitchen/dining room

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Henry Cowell Redwood State Park - yawn

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Our landlord forgot to put up the privacy paper on our master bathroom door - incidentally, this is Leo's "poop face" (he also yells "I need some space")

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Loving our co-op

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This is typical - Leo and I drove west on Highway 1 into Santa Cruz for a grocery trip, and when we drove back home to Rio del Mar for lunch and nap, we drove back into the fog

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our street after arriving home that same morning

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A windy day up the coast between SC and Half Moon Bay

we do [more] faces

Please pardon my overuse of Photobooth and this particular gimmick. But we just think it's hilarious.

(Please also pardon my slobby pajamas and post-beach pre-biweekly-hairwash hair and super crazy messy house)

(the actors prepare)

Crying

 Angry

Happy

Boring

 Surprised

Sad

Kiss (he actually is willingly kissing me back here, he leaned in and everything)