This man.

I thank the universe every day.

The highlight reel

Inspired by my friend Kelly.

What I was going for (and what I shared on social media)...

VS

The outtakes...

5K

I ran my first 5K today.

I started training 2 months and one day ago, on my 33rd birthday. I have lost 15 pounds, almost two sizes and a lot of negativity!

When I started running, I could only run for a minute and then walk for a minute at a time. I got up to running five or six minutes with a one-minute walk break and was taking about 14 minutes to get through each mile.

Last week I shaved my time down to 12 minutes per mile and I was THRILLED.

Today I ran the entire 5K without walking at all (only stopped for a quick drink of water) at a pace of 10.37/mile!!!

What should my next fitness goal be?

Life changes

On the eve of my 33rd birthday, just over a month ago, I hit a wall. I was so upset about my clothes not fitting anymore. I realized it was time for a big change. I started a couch-to-5k training program and changed my diet.

Here is a before-and-after pic. I took the first pic the night of my meltdown; the second picture was last night after my run.

Making this change has given me such an incredible boost in so, so many ways. I have more energy. I am happier. I go to bed earlier because I'm not jumping from snack to snack (and, therefore, I'm more rested because I'm sleeping longer!) My diet has changed so much but I'm really enjoying what I'm eating and I'm cooking a lot. I don't feel guilty about snacking because I'm limiting my crap food and not binging.

Last year I started following a meal planning service and really committed to learning to cook, and it was awesome. I learned so much and I LOVE to cook. But for now I'm taking a break from the plan and cooking from the Weight Watchers cookbook. And you know what? The recipes are awesome. And I am learning to listen to my body and stop eating when I'm full...not when there is no food left in the pan.

My old clothes fit. My jeans fit. Having a closet full of beloved old clothes that suddenly fit you again is like suddenly having a whole new wardrobe. I don't feel like a slob wearing my pj pants everywhere.

My running is improving. I stretch religiously, so my plantar fasciitis is getting better, too.

Most of all, I am so damn happy and proud of myself. I'm finally doing something real and concrete to take care of myself. Treating myself. Long-term. Not just treating myself by going for a quick shopping trip, or indulging in some wine because I deserve it, but taking the time to commit and put myself first because when I am happy, I am a better mom and wife.

I saw one of those quotes on The Facebook the other day - you know, those cheesy inspirational quotes that someone typed in some stupid fancy font and posted as a picture? But this one hit me in the gut. It said, "It's not who you are that is holding you back. It's who you think you're NOT."

I thought I wasn't the athletic girl. I'm not the healthy eater. I could never run a race. But it was holding me back. I'm making the choice to be that girl. I'm taking control. 

I want this guy to grow up seeing his mama take care of herself, be active, eat healthy, and be happy, so that he will do the same.

Conversations with a Two-Year-Old

I want to remember what Leo was like in these early days of learning how to have a conversation. He's very verbal and very social and we chat all day long.

Some things I don't want to forget:

--

"Mama, school bus go beep-beep!"

Yes, Leo, that's right, the school bus goes "beep-beep" when you honk the horn. Someday when you are older you will ride a school bus to school, would you like that?

[eyes widen] "Ok, go school bus!" [pauses, then gently pushes me away] "No Mama, Mama go. Mama too big."

--

Leo, time to go home for dinner.

"No dinner, more park."

One more slide and then we have to go.

[climbs onto platform, veeeeeerrrry slowwwwwly inches his way towards the slide]

Leo, one more slide, it's time to go.

[grins and stops on platform, reaching out to the slide] "Oh no, can't reach."

--

Leo's very into talking about things he remembers right now. He'll start his story with "Remember...?" which sounds like "momo...?" Some examples.

"Remember Leo fall down?"
"Remember choo-choo train?"
"Remember Leo puked?"
"Remember cousins? Remember Uncle Al?" [Christmas in Texas made a big impression]
"Remember Papa catch the ball? Hahahahahaha!"
"Remember carwash, kinda scary? 'Sokay, no big deal."

Side note. He talks a lot about things that are "kinda scary." He has a book about Thomas the Train being scared in the woods at night (it's a five-page board book and ends happily) and it was the first thing that was "scary" to him. We talked about it a lot and he seems to understand that if something is scary it's good to talk about it and it makes you feel better. We recently went to a park that had a huuuuuuge tornado slide and I told him that it scared me a little bit (um, truth yo) but that I would go up there with him. He seemed really surprised that I was "scared" by something.

Sometimes very little things are scary. Tonight in his bath he found a bottle of Matt's body wash. It has a picture on the label of a large, dark splashing wave. "Kinda scary. 'Sokay." We looked at it for a while and talked about how it was big and dark but it was just a picture of a wave so it was okay.

I love him so much.

we do faces

An afternoon stroll through the botanic gardens

Yo yo yo, the Pavelkas are now card-carrying members of the South Coast Botanic Garden, thanks to a sweet Groupon that I found. We love this place. In the concrete madness of LA it is so nice to have a green, tree-filled space where we can actually escape traffic noise (for the most part). Leo loves it here and though we've visited several times already we have yet to see it all and have much still to explore, since they close at 5pm and we're usually racing to get there after Leo's nap.

Today's garden adventure focused on the banyan grove. We only had about 45 minutes.

(there is something vaguely "naked human" about this wacky fig tree, right? it kind of makes me uncomfortable)